Speaking out loud

There are times my expression is an inward look into the things I am currently navigating with the trust that you witnessing and receiving a glimpse into my process will unlock something for you personally. That is what I’ve gravitated towards these last couple years as I’ve been very much in process.

I’m at point right now where things are really “good.”

My family and I are as tight as ever. I have incredible friends that I call family. My heart is so much more open and has experienced so much healing and I’m not being tossed around with tests and lessons left right and centre.

And I feel this part of me that wants to rest here. Or, that is waiting for some external thing to shake me up again so I have more to work with.

But there is a lesson even in that.

Because what it feels like is it’s time to both deepen into the nourishment and receptivity of what is here - love, the joy, the abundance of peace, while simultaneously share more of what I have cultivated in a bigger way (and that alone will most definitely bring me to my edges.)

I made a choice to become a deeper student the other day. Finally felt myself really acknowledge that’s the next step. And I am feeling really ready to deepen what is here.

And simultaneously, I am very clear that the world right now is at a very important point where what I have to say matters. What we ALL have to say matters.

2020-2021 was a massive awakening for me. It was the first time I realized that we actually can’t trust the government the way I thought. As a Canadian, I used to have no understanding of the Second Amendment in the States because I genuinely did not think there would be ANY reason we would ever have to protect ourselves from the government. It felt silly, old school and completely out of my paradigm of the world. And you know what, I’m really grateful I had an early life that actually felt like that, where things were peaceful and I trusted that much.

However, I can confidently say now, I am happy I was in the United States for the last few years. That might come as a shock to some people. Because it has absolutely been a shit show.

But what many people don’t realize is that one piece of the constitution actually held a really important pole when it came to citizen rights during lockdowns and vax mandates. And that pole definitely impacted what other countries could get away with. I felt safer here. Who woulda thunk it.

Before you jump down my throat with some line about mass murders and statistics and whatever other anger-filled statement you want to make, I’m not interested. And my statement above does not mean that I think the US gun laws are appropriate or that there aren’t some major issues in how things are done over here. Or that I am an heartless monster who is okay with the awful events that have happened at the hands of guns and using horrible events for my own personal agenda (like some old friends accused me of).

But it would simply be untrue for me to not acknowledge the impact this had on the ways things played out globally. And I think it’s important for us to see the bigger picture.

Many things can be true at one time. And if I’ve learned anything it’s that what is happening is way bigger than any political divide.

We are in a full system reset.

It took me a couple years to really feel things out through my body when every idea of things that I had started to break. I trusted myself in ways that didn’t fully make sense to my mind. And now, data has confirmed it all. There were also times I was uncertain and tentative and I moved slowly.

Today I’m seeing that there are already signs that things are going to cycle around again and many of the same tactics are going to be attempted. It’s already starting in some places.

And this time I will not be so quiet.

You do not need to agree with me.

You do not need to like what I say.

I am fully accepting that my words might set off a whole string of internal combustions and your image of me might be shattered.

But I will not fight with you.

This isn’t about being right. This is not about anything other than me naming what I see.

And it would be irresponsible for me at this point not to share it because I’m scared that some of you won’t like me.

I am deeply rooted in Love and that is not a barometer that I leave in the hands of those who read my words.

The last year and a half has brought me through the biggest initiations in Love that I have ever experienced. And let me tell you, Love is not convenient. And Love is not nice.

It is True. And it is Kind.

And sometimes you won’t realize how kind it is until down the line.

So until then, I’ll be here, and if you’re along for the ride, let’s giddy up.