THE GIFT OF SIGHT
I believe one of the biggest spiritual reasons my last partner was with me was because of my sight.
It was also the one of the reasons our relationship had issues and eventually ran its course.
The paradox of sight.
The gift and the curse.
I have incredible sight.
Sight into your patterns. Your path. Your gifts and your shadow.
It is absolutely one of my gifts.
And, it’s also the power that I am continually learning how to wield.
If I run my sight through my judgement of right and wrong, it can be destructive.
And if my sight is running through my own wounding, it can elicit a lot of fear, triggering manipulative and unclean behaviours.
When it came to my past relationship, I could see his path months ahead of him. I would see choices, books, teachings, areas of passion that were waiting for him. And almost every time without fail he would end up there, months or years later. And, when there were deep moments of trust and openness, he would be receptive to the sight in the moment. He would call me his angel. Most of the time though, he needed to get there on his own.
The thing with sight is people are only ready for it when they’re ready. And it’s not my job to show them simply because I see it.
The need to do that comes from my own codependency. My own need to be right. Validated. Seen. As well as a distorted expression of my love in the form of rescuing.
To see something for someone I love and let them stumble down the path to it on their own is one of the hardest things to experience. Especially when that path isn’t an easy one. It is, however, the most loving choice.
It’s like watching the school bus of children head for the train, but this time you are anchored in a knowing that the collision is exactly the thing that will save everyone.
It’s also painful to see that the path you see for them likely doesn’t have you in it. Or at least for parts of it. That part of the path is the walking it alone for periods of time.
That has been the hardest for me with this relationship. Both when I was in it and knew at the very core that there would probably be a point of departure and in the ending where my own abandonment has been activated deeply.
It’s in these moments where my human begins to question my sight. Now that I am out of the relationship, there is so much more room for the ego to come in with stories around my wounding. Because there is more space. Less reinforcement of what I know.
It is these very times where my sight needs to both deepen and broaden.
And my entire work on myself has been to bring this sight into the body. Because the body can hold me where the mind cannot. The body brings internal stability to Truth.
Sight without embodiment is a recipe for judgement and fear. And it was definitely what created my part in the issues we had. For a while, I fought for my sight to be right. I wanted to save and fix. And then I realized that was hurting us. It also had me abandon my self in this process because I couldn’t deeply feel my own pain at the time. So, the only way I knew how to allow him to be on his journey was to actually close my heart. I thought it was detaching at the time, but it was actually disconnecting. And we wondered why we weren’t feeling intimate and connected at the end.
There’s grief there for me for sure.
Everything I do in my life is to bring this sight so deep into my heart and body that I learn the nuances of when to share, when not to. How to see the truth without being afraid. How to actually use this sight to love even harder. Creating more connection rather than less. Because I know that all is unfolding perfectly.
My clients sign up to work with me for this very sight. I don’t actually do much coaching. I will straight up tell them what I see and they let it in. This changes them.
But when it comes to friends, family and partners, it’s way more vulnerable. And I am continually learning that when I truly see something for someone, it means I can also deeply deeply trust it will happen, regardless if I have anything to do with it.
Also, it’s so important for me to remember that one cannot ever see themselves with the clarity they can see others. It was one of the reasons my soul chose him too. He also has the sight. I will say, I had a VERY hard time receiving it at the time. But in this separation, almost every lesson I land on personally is one that he at some point alluded to.